American Airlines Now Charging Fees To Non-Passengers

FORT WORTH, TX—Cash-strapped American Airlines announced a new series of fees this week that will apply to all customers not currently flying, scheduled to fly, or even thinking about flying aboard the commercial carrier.

American Airlines has promised never to raise its fees for not printing a boarding pass.

The fees, the latest introduced by American Airlines in a continuing effort to combat its financial woes, will take effect on Monday. According to company officials, these charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline, as well as a mandatory $30 surcharge for passengers who decide to just stay home for the holidays instead.

"Tough times unfortunately mean tough measures," American Airlines president Gerard Arpey said. "It's never an easy decision to ask our loyal customers, as well as thousands of people chosen at random out of a telephone book, to pay a little extra, but that's just the reality of today's economic climate. We hope all Americans will understand this when receiving one of our new bills in the mail."

Arpey said that non-passengers of American Airlines should expect to pay a small fee when making Greyhound bus reservations, choosing to drive to their final destination, or simply being a citizen of the United States with a valid Social Security number.

Arpey went on to note that some additional charges would also apply, including a $15 fee for every piece of luggage customers have inside their bedroom closet, and a one-time payment of $40 for any American whose name is Greg.

"We are confident that these new measures will not discourage customers from flying with American Airlines," vice president Margaret Wilkinson said. "However, we'd like to remind our customers that there is a 'discouraged-from-flying-with-American-Airlines' charge if they do in fact choose not to fly with us."

American Airlines, which posted a $1.45 billion loss in the second quarter of 2008 alone, claimed that the new fees—including the Taking A Shower Fee, the Knowing What An Airplane Looks Like Fee, and the Eating E.L. Fudge Cookies While Watching A Rerun Of House Fee—will help the company rebound. According to internal projections, the airline will recoup $500 million in the next three months alone, with nearly 80 percent of that revenue coming from citizens asleep at home.

"Watching television last night cost me $250," said Baltimore resident Michael Peterson, one of many Americans now forced to pay high airline costs for folding their laundry and going to the ophthalmologist. "It's ridiculous, but what can you do? I guess that's just the price of not flying these days."

"American Airlines charged me for cleaning out my attic," said 74-year-old Samantha Pratt, a New Jersey resident who has not left the state since 2005. "Sure, I didn't have to wait in any long lines, or go through invasive security searches, and I got to clean out my attic, which is something I've been wanting to do for weeks, but come on now."

In response to American's move, other airlines have begun offering more competitive rates. United this week unveiled a new $99 "spend the weekend quietly reading indoors" offer, while Southwest is introducing a $125 round-trip fare for those walking to their corner store for some groceries.

JetBlue, a commercial carrier known for its thrifty rates, has come out ahead of the pack, however, and is being lauded for its decision not to charge non-passengers not to fly.

Despite reduced offers such as these, many remain concerned over the new fees. Some have even expressed doubt about whether they'll be able to afford to see family members they currently live with during Christmas.

"It's just not worth it anymore," said Caroline Huza, an Ohio native and mother of two. "Plus, every time I stay at home, I always get trapped next to some kid who won't stop crying."

(From The Onion)

The Right Answer

A colleague emailed me this morning:

"I read this article in the paper this morning about a survey of how many high school students cheat and lie.

It’s depressing enough, but then the principal of Andover High (MA) was quoted (and he’s very supportive of today’s students) as saying, 'We need to create classrooms where learning takes on more importance than having the right answer.'

WTF? That says it all, doesn’t it?

What is learning for if not 'the right answer'?

I hope my doctor and airline pilot have the right answer and I don’t care if they don’t know all kinds of 'strategies for learning.' Good god."

I've ranted before on the Freeway about the dreadful state of American public education, and how far behind other countries we have fallen, in terms of being able to compete in the global marketplace.

I don't think many school-age daughters of immigrant parents are wearing tee shirts with anti-math messages. Many of them seem to have a grasp of the skills it takes to succeed these days. But the shirt continues to be a big seller.

I'm constantly astonished at the general lack of curiosity and the inability to hold two opposing ideas at the same time in our culture. So reading this story about how it's okay to lie and cheat to get ahead is really disheartening.

The "right answer" is to fix our broken education system.

Plaxico Burress Perp Walk

A Boston police detective I spoke with said that an expensive handgun has become a fashion accessory among some professional athletes, right after the diamond earring, gold chain, and Rolex watch.

And no -- if you're thinking that the Patriots might ever consider signing Plaxico Burress after he gets out of jail, because they signed Randy Moss, let me just say that Plaxico Burress is no Randy Moss, and never will be.

Backstage Pass

OK - so it's not politics, football, or rock and roll. But the article was in the New York Times, and I try to cover a broad range of subjects on the Freeway, including fashion, with your mind in mind.

Like politics, football, and rock and roll, high fashion is performance art, and as such requires considerable behind-the-scenes preparation, as indicated in this photograph.

The handlers/trainers/roadies have multiple responsibilities prior to the performance to get their candidate/player/rockstar ready to thrill and impress the fans. It’s the same thing at a fashion show (I’m trying really hard here), with the same outsized egos unchecked at the door.

For instance, is the model in this photograph training her contemptuous gaze on the photographer because she’s trying to protect her teammate's privacy, or because she's realized that she may not be the primary focus?

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?


How did things get so fracked up, you ask?

Michael Lewis (author of "Liar's Poker") offers one small example in Portfolio:

"In Bakersfield, Calif., a Mexican strawberry picker with an income of $14,000 and no English was lent every penny he needed to buy a house for $720,000."

The sub-prime mortgage debacle was no accident. The perpetrators made gazillions of dollars from it, the strawberry picker is out on the street, and you and I are about to pay off their gambling debts.

What a country!

Britney Spears


I only have one Britney Spears song in my iTunes library -- "Satisfaction" -- but I listen to it a lot because it's the only cover of that Rolling Stones classic I've ever heard that's really good.

So although I'm not a fan, I hope, as Rolling Stone hopes, that she's back to stay because she is capable of making really good music, and I'm all about really good music.

Unfortunately, the mixture of celebrity and drugs with the burden of being a gravy train for a dysfunctional family is too much for almost anyone to handle.

I wish her well.

C'mon People Now, Smile On Your Brother...

Welcome to Black Friday:

"Nikki Nicely, 19, wanted a television — a 40-inch Samsung flat-screen, to be exact, on sale for $798, marked down from $1,000, and available for a limited time in the wee hours of Friday morning at the Wal-Mart store in Columbus, Ohio.

So, at 4:40 a.m., when a fellow shopper tried to pry away the box she had been guarding for an hour, Ms. Nicely did not play nice. She jumped onto the man’s back and began to pound his shoulders, screaming, “That’s my TV! That’s my TV!”

A police officer and security guard intervened but not before Ms. Nicely took an elbow in the face. Still, when the dust settled, she had her hand on the box. “That’s right,” she cried as the man walked away. “This here is my TV!”

And from a Wal-Mart on Long Island:

"A man working for Wal-Mart was killed on Friday when a throng of shoppers surged into a Long Island, New York, store and physically broke down the doors, a police spokesman said.

The 34-year-old man was at the entrance of the Valley Stream Walmart store just after it opened at 5 a.m. local time and was knocked to the ground, the police report said.

The exact cause of death was still to be determined by a medical examiner.

Four shoppers, including a 28-year-old pregnant woman, were also taken to local hospitals for injuries sustained in the incident, police said."

To quote the late Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

Buyer's Market

"Unwelcome by dealers and buyers, thousands of cars worth tens of millions of dollars...warehoused on crowded port property."

A colleague at work is shopping for a 50" flat screen plasma television this weekend, and I look forward to hearing on Monday what kind of a deal she got.

My 42" cost $1,200 last year, which was a good price at that time.

My advice to my colleague was to wait a week or two, watch the prices continue to fall and negotiate a cash deal on a 50" with a hungry retailer for $750.

Anything seems possible for the qualified buyer in this economy.

I'm almost ready to buy a new car, and I know the model, specs, options and color I want.

I already know that I'm qualified for 0% financing for the full term of the loan, so my conversation with my local dealer will go something like this:

"Here's what I want, and here's what I'll pay for it. How soon can you deliver?"

Somehow, I don't recall previous conversations with new car dealers going like that before.

Tom And Gisele's Thanksgiving


A Thanksgiving Day helping of Tom-and-Gisele for their fans on the Freeway, from today's Boston Globe:

"Tom Brady and his supermodel sweetheart Gisele Bundchen surprised everyone at yesterday's annual Thanks-for-giving meal organized by Goodwill Industries at its Roxbury headquarters.

Walking without a limp, the Pats QB upstaged a slew of pols who were present,

Bundchen arrived first, and quickly put on an apron and got down to work dishing out stuffing, mashed potatoes, and squash. (We spied the slender siren sneak one bean.)

Brady showed up as the tables were being cleared, and was greeted by Bundchen with a kiss on the cheek. Later, Brady signed a few autographs while Gi, who seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself, chatted with folks and moved to the music

Speaking of Brady, Maria Menounos called to clarify something. She says she didn't mean to suggest that the Pats should permanently replace the two-time Super Bowl MVP with Matt Cassel.

In an item this week hyping her "Access Hollywood" interview with Ashley Dupre, Menounos told us she's been impressed with Cassel's passing progress. But that's as far as the infatuation goes.

"Matt will be a wanted man after the season, no question," the Medford native says of Cassel, who will be a free agent. "But there's no replacing Tom Brady. Period."

By the way, the guy in the background of the picture at the top looks like he can't wait to get his hands on some of that pie!

On Keeping It Zipped

[Time to revisit this post in light of a developing story]
.
It’s unfortunate on so many levels that Eliot Spitzer couldn’t keep it zipped.

Blowing up his marriage was the worst part; the damage he inflicted upon his wife and daughters can never be repaired, no matter how well-insulated they may appear to be in their Fifth Avenue home.

But to have wasted all the determination, talent and leadership he displayed as New York’s Attorney General and then as its Governor in going after the bad guys on Wall Street really hurts all of us, especially now.

Certainly it would have taken much more than one person to have pointed out all the financial chicanery that has produced the current mess. And maybe there was no whistle loud enough.

But Elliot Spitzer had begun to sniff it out over a year ago, and had inspired a team of young attorneys to follow the money and pursue prosecutions in cases involving Wall Street excess.

His stupidity and selfishness brought it all to a hard stop at absolutely the wrong time.

Harvard Square


The imminent closing of Out of Town News, while sad, really doesn't surprise me.

For five years in the early 1970s, I managed one of the many bookstores in Harvard Square -- back in the analog day before just about everything in print was available online, most of it for free.

My store, Reading International, was one of four full-service bookstores within a few minutes of one another. Sprinkled throughout the same area were several specialty bookstores as well – poetry, foreign languages, architecture and design, etc. – each serving a specific clientele.

Back then, before amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, WaldenBooks and Borders, customers paid the price that publishers printed on the books. There were no discount bookstores because publishers and booksellers worked together to fix prices and preserve their profit margins. And consumers were content to pay full price.

In the 1980s, it all changed.

By then, I was buying books for chain stores, and negotiating quantity discounts from publishers, who eventually capitulated by rewarding their largest customers with the best pricing and promotional deals.

Then the internet kicked in; then the Kindle.

And speaking for myself as a fairly large consumer of the printed word, we're all (with the exception of independent bookstores) better off for it.

Harvard Square has changed in many ways, but so have we all. And it will always be fun to pass through or hang out there.

OMG! - NFL 3-D!!


"With sports fans still getting used to their high-definition television sets, the National Football League is already thinking ahead to the next potential upgrade: 3-D.

Next week, a game between the San Diego Chargers and the Oakland Raiders will be broadcast live in 3-D to theaters in Los Angeles, New York and Boston [invitation only]."

The Wall Street Journal reports that while watching an NFL game live in 3-D, "it's as if the ball is coming into your arms."

Football fans can let their imaginations run almost as wild as these Halloween-costumed New England Patriots cheerleaders did during the Pats-Rams game at Gillette Stadium on October 26.

The possibilities are endless.

November 22

Ted Kennedy raised the ball in triumph after hauling in a touchdown pass in The Game of 1955, a 21-7 Harvard loss. (FILE/JOHN B. LOENGARD)

At least the Boston Globe acknowledges the 45th anniversary of the assassination of John Kennedy today, albeit in a story in the Sports section about today's Harvard/Yale game:

"All four Kennedy brothers played football at Harvard, all of them at end and three on the varsity. Bobby and Ted both earned letters and appeared against archrival Yale, with Ted scoring in the 1955 loss. Today, when Harvard and Yale meet at the Stadium for the 125th time, is the 45th anniversary of Jack's assassination, when the game was postponed for the only time."

Not only was the game postponed, but the whole world stopped for those of us who were around on that day.

The "torch had been passed to a new generation" only three years before, but November 22, 1963 marked the end of innocence for many young Americans.

Every year, that event becomes a little smaller in my rear view mirror, but I'm convinced that dark forces in this country became committed to overturning the election of 1960 in the most violent way.

Those forces exist today, in very different configurations. Yet they still exist.

I hope that we have become wiser and more vigilant over the past 45 years.

The Ruling Class

From David Brooks:

"Jan. 20, 2009, will be a historic day. Barack Obama (Columbia, Harvard Law) will take the oath of office as his wife, Michelle (Princeton, Harvard Law), looks on proudly. Nearby, his foreign policy advisers will stand beaming, including perhaps Hillary Clinton (Wellesley, Yale Law), Jim Steinberg (Harvard, Yale Law) and Susan Rice (Stanford, Oxford D. Phil.).

The domestic policy team will be there, too, including Jason Furman (Harvard, Harvard Ph.D.), Austan Goolsbee (Yale, M.I.T. Ph.D.), Blair Levin (Yale, Yale Law), Peter Orszag (Princeton, London School of Economics Ph.D.) and, of course, the White House Counsel Greg Craig (Harvard, Yale Law).

This truly will be an administration that looks like America, or at least that slice of America that got double 800s on their SATs. Even more than past administrations, this will be a valedictocracy — rule by those who graduate first in their high school classes. If a foreign enemy attacks the United States during the Harvard-Yale game any time over the next four years, we’re screwed."