Has Tom Brady Gone Soft?

Dan Shaughnessy, writing in today's Boston Globe, has spoken for hard-core football fans everywhere:

"I can't take it anymore. Aliens have overtaken Tom Brady's body. He's not the guy we thought we knew."

"Yesterday was the last straw."

"You know what I'm talking about. You opened your newspaper (or perhaps viewed online) and saw the photograph of Gisele Bundchen feeding Brady at poolside in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico."

"That did it. The tipping point. The coup de grace. The shark jumped."

"She was feeding him."

Tom Brady Rehabs in Puerto Vallarta


For all the Tom and Gisele fans on the Freeway, from boston.com:

"While the rest of us are huddled beneath a pile of blankets trying to survive another batch of frigid weather, Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen are busy catching some rays south of the border."

"On Sunday, the paparazzi snapped the Patriots signal-caller and his supermodel sweetheart snuggling in sunny Puerto Vallarta, Mexico."

"While it's unclear if the couple is or isn't engaged, they sure look like lovebirds lounging poolside in their boardshorts and bikini."

Watch out for the lizards!

Barbie Turns Fifty

"This March, Barbie Millicent Roberts will turn 50.

"We know her as the age-immune creature Barbie, 11 1/2 inches of plastic delivered by Mattel onto our cultural landscape in a zebra-striped bathing suit.

"She has been painted by Warhol, scrutinized by intellectuals, sabotaged by pranksters, pilloried by cultural critics and purchased more than a billion times.

"Margaux Lange figures she was about 4 or 5 when she got her first Barbie. “I remember very quickly becoming obsessed with collecting as many as I possibly could,” she says.

"Eventually she had around 50. 'I played with them, embarrassingly, until about seventh or eighth grade. In secret.'

"She’s 29 now and makes jewelry for a living; in her studio, along with her soldering torch and other standard tools of the trade, is a much larger Barbie collection.

"But these dolls are mostly in pieces, stored in stacked plastic boxes marked with phrases like “One Eye” or “Mouths With Teeth.”

Read more from today's New York Times Magazine.

Do You Know The Way To Titty Ho?

For those lucky few of you planning a vacation trip to England in the near future, this map contains some interesting desinations, photo ops and postmark opportunities.

"In the scale of embarrassing place names, Crapstone ranks pretty high. But Britain is full of them. Some are mostly amusing, like Ugley, Essex; East Breast, in western Scotland; North Piddle, in Worcestershire; and Spanker Lane, in Derbyshire.

"Others evoke images that may conflict with residents’ efforts to appear dignified when, for example, applying for jobs.

"These include Crotch Crescent, Oxford; Titty Ho, Northamptonshire; Wetwang, East Yorkshire; Slutshole Lane, Norfolk; and Thong, Kent. And, in a country that delights in lavatory humor, particularly if the word “bottom” is involved, there is Pratts Bottom, in Kent, doubly cursed because “prat” is slang for buffoon.

"As for Penistone, a thriving South Yorkshire town, just stop that sophomoric snickering.

“It’s pronounced ‘PENNIS-tun,’ ” Fiona Moran, manager of the Old Vicarage Hotel in Penistone, said over the telephone, rather sharply. When forced to spell her address for outsiders, she uses misdirection, separating the tricky section into two blameless parts: “p-e-n” — pause — “i-s-t-o-n-e.”

Another Look At The Inaugural Speech

I'm not a regular viewer of "The Daily Show," so thanks to my friend Donna for sending this video, and snapping me back to reality (wait a second or two for it to load).

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose?

So I Guess Size Really Does Matter

The London Times reports that:

"Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance.

"The study is certain to prove controversial, suggesting that women are inherently programmed to be gold-diggers.

"However, it fits into a wider body of research known as evolutionary psychology which suggests that both men and women are genetically predisposed to ruthlessly exploit each other to achieve the best chances of survival for their genes.

"The female orgasm is the focus of much research because it appears to have no reproductive purpose. Women can become pregnant whatever their pleasure levels.

"Pollet, and Professor Daniel Nettle, his co-author, believed, however, that the female orgasm is an evolutionary adaptation that drives women to choose and retain high-quality partners."

I guess, in the case of Donald Trump, it's all about the meaning of "high quality."

And in the case of Pamela Anderson, well, whatever...

1/20/09

"Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it]."

"Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations."

"Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake."

"And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more."

"We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you."

(Click here for the full text of the Inaugural Address)

Smaller Than Life


"We like our failed presidents to be Shakespearean, or at least large enough to inspire Oscar-worthy performances from magnificent tragedians like Frank Langella ["Nixon and Frost"].

"So here, too, George W. Bush has let us down.

"Even the banality of evil is too grandiose a concept for 43. He is not a memorable villain so much as a sometimes affable second banana whom Josh Brolin and Will Ferrell can nail without breaking a sweat.

"He’s the reckless Yalie Tom Buchanan, not Gatsby.

"He is smaller than life."
--Frank Rich